It snowing today.
Damp & cold & whiteness everywhere.
Some hiding their heads in hoods, and some using umbrellas.
And me… used nothing.
Those ice feathers gave me no harm, not even to wet my clothes.
I didn’t feel so good.
Started to have butterflies in my stomach since this morning.
Meantime everyone else chatting about something else.
And some even laugh hardly to the ridiculous jokes they heard to me.
I felt my skin burning – from cheeks to the lower part on both ears.
I never get rid of these adrenalines caused suffers for decades.
And it seems everything screened to my eyeballs made no figure anymore.
Not even a blurry image.
And my brain can’t interpret any datas from my notes that I tried to save for the very last second.
Then the battle begins.
90 minutes ticked away too fast.
My answer sheets still very white – holes everywhere.
Scrawls I made on the rough paper helped me nothing.
Where all the things I’ve stored on this dull brain been?
Have they washed away by the ice feathers that now melt into water drops?
I heard others’ sighs.
While I heaved mine soundlessly.
Unsure if my face already portrayed everything – my anxieties.
And then time’s up.
I’m screaming… but nobody heard me.
Warm transparent liquid formed behind my glasses but nobody saw it.
And it didn’t spill – because I actually has no more tears left to wash away.
It’s too late to change everything.
All I can do is… to keep on having this infinitesimal hope.
Good luck to me for the rest papers.