Where do I start…


Exams were all over eventually.

And that means I finally have what I really long to have – BREAK.

But is it what the says already told us?

That we only looking forward to something/someone that we haven’t had/got yet.

But at the point we truly possess them, we can’t really appreciate them.

And then for a moment we began to miss the things before them.

Simple example.

I want to get over the hectic days I have during examinations.

I had deprivation of sleep & meal & rest, pressured & stressed all the time, abandoning all my routines as if exams are EVERYTHING.

And eventually the chaotic days passed where I thought I can back to the peaceful, nonchalant days I’ve used to have.

It’s not. Totally not.

Instead of feeling happy & calm, I felt empty.

Emptiness & nothingness.

I hate them.

Maybe the long break is nothing to fit me.

Shouldn’t I enjoy moping all day with nothing to worry?

But I’m more anxious than those days from past couple of weeks!

What the hell is going on with me?

Seems like it’s more difficult to kill the time …

Seemed like I understood why my 66-year-old mom can’t let herself sit on her armchair, watching tv to sleep.

We can’t face the NOTHINGNESS.


No ones can bear to LONELINESS.

And yeah, people has their own way to fill their free.

I should find something to get busy.

That’s the only way out…

p/s : Is EV goin’ thru some trouble state in her mind & heart?

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4 thoughts on “…eventually

  1. aethia321 says:

    I guess its like during those exam period you got something to work on to but when its over… Sure you know there’s lots of things to do but you can’t set ur mind to which to start first. Well, you probably know that already.

    Yup, you will feel happy and free after the first few days the exam is over but then ….

    I am sure rubi got will get things sort out soon. She can’t forget the stories she mentioned. ;). Good luck with everything you do! 😀

  2. evearlmine says:


    yeah maybe. got tons of work but closing my eyes to look at them only. i better list them out and work out what important’s first. and not gonna end up doing nothing again! thanks pheb! 🙂

  3. arieszai says:


    it seems like my dearest halmoni feeling ‘nothing to do rite now’ huh???
    well… for me… this is the perfect timing for you to prepare urself for ur final yr… not struggling, but preparing… so when the school starts later, you’ll know how to adapt to that situation ^^… maybe looking & searching infos about ur upcoming lab??? who knows.. the info will help you in critical period later? ^^

    if you feel bored, bring ed & theodore for a walk ^^
    go out and enjoy snow for me will ya? since i never seen one in my lifetime >_<
    can u send me some snow??? ^^

    -ur nottiest gdotter-

  4. ZaliZabrina says:

    Yup! You’re absolutely right!!
    Human CANNOT live alone..unless they make themselves busy! We’ll start thinking so many things once we get alone..it’s OK if we’re strong, but if we’re not, we’ll start doing stupid things..huhu..
    BUSY ITU NIKMAT, 人間は一生懸命の時にしか輝いてない, rite? I can say that now*lol*

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