Feb 15th ~ Feb 16th Diaries
Weather : Snow showers
Current temperature : -6℃ (feels like -13℃)
First of all, my parcel from Ec delivered safely to me yesterday evening.
And yeah guess what’s been attached inside?
I bet my Ec wanted to make it as belated birthday gift, aren’t you Ec?
Check out below picture then.
I know it’s tiny and inobvious on my dark skin, but can you guys see the ruby-red ring on my middle finger?
I was surprised.
Ec sent me a ruby-red ring? Triple R huh? 😛
I guess she read my obsession towards Ruby lately so that she sent me this.
Thanks Ec! *I hope Ed send me the real Ruby though! :P*
That’s the sweet one
The bitter one.
I got repeat paper today.
On the day when all fellow friends from the same batch of mine having final presentation.
Komiyama in his up-to-toe formal suit – black-pinstriped-tuxedo with charm blue-yellow-striped tie hardly made me recognize him.
I’d mistaken him as Bussiness student rather than Engineering student just now.
I’m not talking about how smart that guy was.
I’m talking about the pain slicing inside my heart, because we should’ve been in the same occasion, same event today.
….Instead, I’ve to sit a repeat exam, as if I’m still in my 3rd year.
I arrived at Mat. Chem. building very early – 1.20 pm that’s 40 minutes before the exam begins.
And my exam’s held just right next to where Komiyama presents!
Ok. I’m the first to be there, almost panicked when nobody insight after 25 minutes later.
Am I the only one who’s going to sit this exam?
I bet it’s not but I began to doubt if there’s schedule change or such.
And soon, one boy entered from the front door.
And I heaved a silent sigh when he placed Chemical Process Eng. textbook on his desk.
I’m on the right day, right time & at the right place, so calm down!
I don’t know his name, but one interesting fact (not really interesting though!) …
he’s just like me.
He claimed he got different answers everytime he calculates the problems.
And then our exam began.
There’ 4 of us – 2 boys & 2 girls.
The other girl left early – early as the time’s up at 3.30 pm.
But sensei extended the period to 3.45 pm, giving the three of us the final chance.
I don’t know.
I faced the exactly same questions last year, but still I can’t make it… perfectly.
And the boy I mentioned above…
I eavesdropped he told his friend that he began to panick at the question number 2 – same as me.
I don’t know what’s the right formula to use, though it’s obviously the same as example written on the textbook.
And he said something else.
He said he can’t take it anymore.
He said he wanted to die.
So that’s how you feel when things not really going well, not as you’ve expected & hoped.
Who wants to fail?
Who wants to suffer of the failures?
But at the time we have to face it, no one would understand that, except we, who’re facing it now.
I wish I could talk to him at that moment.
His life isn’t at the end… yet.
He just felt it for one paper.
How about me?
when you think you’re the WORST, there must be someone worse somewhere else.
Yeah, I wanted to think positive.
If I went on the opposite, I’d say the same thing he said.
“I wanted to die”
….But I’d rather say it with some additional words at the back,
“I wanted to die in peace, after I achieved my aims & hopes, after I repaid what Mom had give me though I knew I can’t do it, but I want to, after I tributed something I have to others, to people who need it/them.”